Panhia's Journal
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Thursday, July 5, 2007
I haven't been in this journal in ages. Reading some old entries made me miss
Lyvv a lot. I haven't seen her since she moved away. I miss those old days hanging
out at her house, doing nothing, just hanging out. Life has changed soo much in
4-5 years. Everyone went their separate ways.
Even though some mistakes were made in the past, I don't regret them. If it weren't
for those mistakes, I wouldn't be where I am today. I have a better mentality of life
right now. I am with someone who I love dearly. I am about to be a mother in 7 months.
I can hardly wait for that moment to come.
I'm glad to have my family...they stood by me thru all my decisions even though
some were wrong decisions. That's what family is for. Life is good when you learn
to move forward and not backward. Everyone should try it.
Saturday, July 2, 2005
Dang, this year has gone by soo quick!!
I went back down to Florida in mid May to
visit for my B.day weekend. I had a blast.
I miss everyone. *sad* It was a nice 4 day
getaway!! Wow, being away from Florida for
7-8 months CAN drive you bananas!!! But I
want to go back during Labor Day Wkend again.
Life here in GA is ok. Pretty simple and blah.
Typical american life I guess. You know, wake
up, go to work, come home, eat, sleep and repeat
for 4 more days until the weekend. Then party
hardy and recover on Sunday for the typical
american life again. Hahaha.
Okay, enough blah blah for today. I can't wait
til July 4th!!! This is my first July 4th up here
in like 7 yrs!! I think I'll go to the park and
watch the fireworks. Yeah, that sounds lame
for the fact that I have been soo use to sitting
at the beach for 7 yrs watching the fireworks
for July 4th. Oh well, it's a change that I hafta
deal with.
Current mood:  cheerful Current music: How To Deal......By: Frankie J
Monday, February 21, 2005
Haven't been in here for a while! Just thought I'd update a bit.
last cigarette: 20 MINUTES AGO..
last alcoholic drink: MARGARITA @ OLD CHARLEYS
last car ride: THIS MORNING TO WORK AT 8:15
last kiss: YESTERDAY @ 6:30 PM
last good cry: I THINK SOMETIME LAST WEEK
last library book checked out: 2½ YRS AGO
last movie seen: RAISE YOUR VOICE...REALLY GOOD
last book read: THE DATING GAME BY DANIELLE STEEL
last cuss word uttered: "FREAKIN A"
last beverage drank: H2O
last food consumed: SOME YUMMY ASIAN NOODLE
last crush: OCTOBER 2004
last phone call: LAST NIGHT WITH ALEC
last tv show watched: ANYTHING MTV
last time showered: YESTI
last shoes worn: BLACK STILETTOS
last cd played: KELLY CLARKSON
last item bought: APPLE JUICE
last downloaded: NADA
last annoyance: JOSH
last disappointment: ALEC
last soda drank: SPRITE
last thing written: AN EMAIL TO SOPHIA
last word spoken: "HI"
last sleep: THIS MORNING AT 1 AM TIL 7:45 AM
last im: TO TIM
last sexual fantasy: NONE..HAHA
last weird encounter: I DON'T RECALL
last ice cream eaten: NEPOLITIAN BUT ONLY THE VANILLA AND CHOCOLATE:)
last time amused: ALL WEEKEND BY THE CUTE LITTLE THINGS TYDUS DID
last time wanting to die: HAHA, DON'T RECALL..I THINK IN SEPT!!
last time hugged: LAST NIGHT BY MACY:)
last chair sat in: PRESENT ONE WITH MY BUTT PRINT ON IT
last lipstick used: LIPGLOSS ABOUT 30 MINS AGO
last underwear worn: BLACK SATIN G-STRING
last bra worn: BLACK
last shirt worn: BROWN TANK WITH MINI ORANGE HOODIE
last webpage visited: YONG LY'S
Current mood:  content Current music: Some's Watching Over Me....By: Hilary Duff
Friday, October 22, 2004
I am not: a bitter person.
I hurt: when I am betrayed by a loved one.
I love: thinking life will always get better.
I hate: falling in love.
I fear: that one day I will breakdown.
I hope: my future does not consist of any men.
I crave: for happiness.
I regret: not seeing the signs before it was too late.
I care: about my well being.
I always: stress.
I long: to experience a healthy and loving relationship.
I feel alone: when I'm drunk!
I listen: to the ppl around me.
I hide: my real feelings inside.
I sing: when I'm depress.
I write: too much.
I breathe: to worship our Lord.
I play: mind games on myself..hahaha.
I miss: FLORIDA.
I search: for nothing.
I learned: that love can be painful.
I feel: like taking a shower.
I know: I am hungry!
I say: 'phuck love'.
I fail: myself all the time.
I dream: of happiness.
I wonder: if I'll ever find the one?
I want: some mint chocolate chip ice cream.
I worry: about my life.
I wish: I could be happy.
I fight: for my piece of mind.
I wait: for nothing.......this is life.
I need: a cigarette.
I am: who I am.
Current mood:  blah Current music: Breakaway....By: Kelly Clarkson
Monday, September 20, 2004
last cigarette: 15 MINUTES AGO..
last alcoholic drink: CURRENTLY DRINKING TEQUILA SUNRISE
last car ride: 30 MINS AGO...
last kiss: 30 MINUTES AGO..
last good cry: COUPLE DAYS AGO
last library book checked out: 2 YEARS AGO
last movie seen: TOY STORY 2 ON DVD
last book read: BIBLE
last cuss word uttered: "SHIT"
last beverage drank: H2O
last food consumed: BEEF RAMEN NOODLES:)
last crush: N/A
last phone call: 1 HOUR AGO WITH MELISSA
last tv show watched: MTV CRIBS
last time showered: YESTI
last shoes worn: HEELS
last cd played: AVRIL LAVIGNE...THE NEW CD..AWESOME!
last item bought: CIGARETTES
last downloaded: NOTHING
last annoyance: JOSH
last disappointment: JOSH
last soda drank: SPRITE
last thing written: AN EMAIL TO MY SISTER
last word spoken: "I KNOW"
last sleep: THIS MORNING AT 3AM TIL NOON:)
last im: TO TIM
last sexual fantasy: IT'S BEEN A WHILE, HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT SEX REALLY...
last weird encounter: YESTERDAY WITH SOME GUY THAT SAID HE LIKED ME BUT DIDN'T WANT TO COMPETE WITH A GHOST, HAHA
last ice cream eaten: CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM FROM APPLE BEES
last time amused: LAST NIGHT BY MY WEIRD CONVERSATIONS WITH STRANGERS...HAHAHA
last time wanting to die: 2 WEEKS AGO TIL PRESENT TIME!
last time hugged: 30 MINUTES AGO
last chair sat in: THIS CHAIR RITE NOW
last lipstick used:LIPGLOSS...COUPLE HOURS AGO
last underwear worn: BLUE THONGS
last bra worn: WHITE BRA
last shirt worn: WHITE TOP
last webpage visited: MY SISTER'S
Current mood:  annoyed Current music: My Happy Ending....By: Avril Lavigne
Ever find yourself sitting there wondering
why life is the way it is? Ever loved someone
soo much that it drove you insane? Ever wonder
how life would be if you could only go back
in time to change one darn thing?? Sometimes
I just lose myself in my own weird thoughts.
Currently listening to Broken by Seether featuring
Amy Lee. I do feel broken at this time. Too
much confusion and frustration. I learned this
year...you can never trust someone fully with
all our heart..cause when you do, your guards
are not up to get hurt! And then boom, when it
happens...you're just in shock and without warning
that all you can do is sit there and cry like
a dummy. So that was my lesson learned this
year. Hope everyone else learned something
valuable this year.
Panhia
Current mood:  confused Current music: Broken....By: Seether ft. Amy Lee
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Oops..haven't been in here for a while. A long while!!!
Not much has been going on. As of right now, Josh and I
are gradually learning to live life the righteous way.
Hard at first but after a while, it makes life more
meaningful. And it makes me feel like, why didn't I live
this way earlier??!
My family is coming in June. Actually, 2 weeks. I'm soo
excited. The last time we had everyone here was 2 summers
ago. But my brother and sis-in-law aren't coming:( I hope
they come visit me on their own one day then. It'll be so
fun!!
I soooooo do not have Lyvv's #. Call me...call Kordy to
get my #!! I thought he gave it to you the last time you
called and I was over at Shannon's. But call cause I miss
you and I hope you are doing very good.
Lots of love,
Panhia
Current mood:  groggy Current music: The Reason....By: Hoobastank
Saturday, April 24, 2004
Hrm...lately I've just been confronted with lots
of obstacles. I mean LOTS. It's been crazy but
whose life isn't crazy right? hehehe. I haven't
been out to just chill and relax. I've been
extremely busy. But keeping myself busy has made
life alot easier to bare.
Relationship has been up and down. But that's
typical. Most of all relationships are like that.
We're hanging in there and fighting away all
the stress & dramas because what we have is too
good. I love my baby.
My sister and I are talking again. I will probably
see my nephews this weekend. Not too sure yet. I
gotta call her later. It is weird to be able to
call her again after a year!! More updates to come
later. Everyone have a great weekend!
Love
Panhia
Current mood:  giddy Current music: Everytime......By: Britney Spears
Monday, April 5, 2004
10:22PM
haha..this was fun! but i was like...dang....it had to be with another
asian person! why? why? why? hahaha, i'm kidding! i don't mind...maybe
jackie can teach me some moves:)
Current mood:  aggravated Current music: Me, Myself, and I.......By: Beyonce
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Hi all!!!!! Just got back from the beach a while ago. I have not been in here in a while!!!!!! So here's a little update. I recently moved out of my apt back to where Josh and I use to live previously. It is much nicer...no nosy neighbor to worry about! I am anxiously waiting to go bowling in a while after Josh & James finish playing air hockey.
I have a new nephew:) I'm super excited to meet him!!!!!!!! I hope everyone is doing wonderful!!!!!!
LIFE IS GRAND.
Lots of LOVE......
Panhia
Current mood: Buzzed Current music: Just Missed The Train.....By: Kelly Clarkson
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Tonite is James' 26th b.day. We're at his place waiting
for him to get off work so we can take him to Stormans.
Tonite is 'sink or swim' but darnit...can't sink cause
I gotta work tomorrow @ 10am. So I'm just gonna go to
chill.
We did go bowling the other nite at Twedts. I totally
sucked!! My highest score was I think 45! hahaha. But
it was fun and the nachos were yummy.
I don't think too many ppl are going tonite. Alot of
ppl hafta work tomorrow. I didn't work today..sucked!
Wish it could've been tomorrow instead of today!!!!
Anywho....we're relocating so I just gotta go in the
remainder of the week to help move things to our new
office. Josh & Vic started working there too so thas
cool.
Well...I'mma go watch FRIENDS while we wait for James
to get home!
Panhia
Current mood: uncomfortable Current music: Toxic.......By: Britney Spears
Sunday, January 25, 2004
We're about to go bowling but currently still
sitting at James' place waiting on Melissa &
Chrissy. I've had a Long Island Ice Tea and
still buzzin.
This has been an extra long week. I went to my
first Motel Party! It was Derrick's birthday so
we all went to celebrate!!! Then went back to the
house to party hardy.
Lylah is moving back to ATL today! Macy had her
baby shower already. She was suppose to take
pictures and send them to me. I'll be up in
SC after she has her baby. It sucks to be curious
of how the baby will look like or who the baby
will look more like:)
Panhia
Current mood: buzz Current music: Someday......By: Nickel Back
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
It's a new year already! Woo hoo! Hmm...
too much to update with. But I'll try to
make it plain and simple:)
New Year's Eve was fun fun fun although
there was a big brawl that broke out at
Shannon's! First it was in the house, then
it was out in the front yard...then all
the neighbors got involved and it almost
became a street war!! But it was still fun.
Past weekend...went to Red Lions Bar by the
beach. That was crazy! First I hesitated to
go cause I just had a bad feeling. When I got
there...everything was fine. I had 2 Tequila
Sunrises and a shot of Yeager(sp). Then the
gals got rowdy rowdy with one of their
co-workers and the cop was there!! We had to
snatch Chrissy from the perv...then the cop
pulled us over and Josh was drunk so the cop
said I had to drive us home! Me..driving a
5-speed...! It was crazy. I've done it before
but only outta stupidity when I ran out of cigs!
But this was pressure pressure pressure! So
I had no choice but to drive. hahaha.
Work has been painful! It's a constant battle
between having a job one week and not having one
the next week. But I think everything is working
out rite now. We had to lay off a few ppl but
I'm still grateful to have my job!! woo.
Okay...thas the update! hahaha.
Panhia
Current mood:  hopeful Current music: "Shut Up"....By: Black Eyed Peas
Sunday, December 28, 2003
Howdy...just chillin here at James'. Vikings
just lost!!! Now Packers are in the playoffs.
I was soo bored that I was browsing AA forever!
Anywho...Christmas was great! Just lookin
forward to New Year's Eve...woo hoo!! It's going
to be crazy!!!
I got a gameboy advance sp from my baby and a
new cd player for my ghetto car:) I was like
'woohoo...I don't hafta sing to myself in the
car anymore'. hehe.
I bought him 2 PS2 games, 2 NBA tickets, CD player,
2 sweaters, nice DKNY belt, KU Jersey & cap, and I
can't remember what else. It was our first
Christmas together and it was awesome. Our tree
is still up...maybe til the New Year!
Well....gotta see if we're going to Chrissy's
b.day bash at the bar or just going home to clean
clean clean!
Love
Panhia
Current mood: calm Current music: Invisible....By: Clay Aiken
Friday, December 19, 2003
Dear Lord,
Forgive me for I am not perfect but a sinner.
Hear my prayer & help reassure me that everything
will be alright. Thru pain & agony, I have learned
to love, trust, honor, obey, and most importantly
FORGIVE.
All I ask is for health & prosperity. I know that
I have strayed from you but in my heart, you are
still there Lord. I still have all my faith in you.
Please help me find a way thru this struggle.
Help us surpass all our demons & find our path in
life. I know that thru you Lord all things are
possible & I believe that with all my heart and
soul. That is one thing that I have never doubted
you in Lord.
Your Loving Daughter,
Panhia
Current music: Pray.....By: Rebecca St. James
Thursday, December 18, 2003
I went home early from work yesterday. My
baby wasn't feeling too good. He scared me.
I called him 3x and he didn't pick up!! I
was thinkin the worst when I drove home.
He's going thru it again this morning. He
went to work but called me to tell me he
wasn't feeling too good again. I'm worried
again...like always. Nothing I can do on
my end but pray that he gets better and wait
to take care of him when I get home from work
tonite.
Who would've knew that this time of year would
stress someone out soo badly to the point where
they have an anxiety attack?? I never. But it's
just weird to me cause I'm usually the stressed
one and it ends up happening to him and not me.
It's a freightening situation. You have no control
in anything.
I still have alot of Christmas shopping to do.
It sucks. I only have my family left which I will
do this weekend and send it out to them and hopefully
have them receive it before Christmas or on Christmas
day.
Praying praying praying...thas all I have today!
For Christmas..all I want is for my baby to be rid
of all his sickness. We've been together for almost
11 months now and of those 11 months, half the time
he was always in pain for his tooth, stomach, head,
etc.
Panhia
Current music: My Immortal.....By: Evanescense
Sunday, December 14, 2003
Josh just got thru playing tackle football.
He is super sore! We were there from 1-5!!!
It got super cold and started sprinkling!!
Now we're at James' but I need to get a
drink so we can head home and start a fire
in the fireplace!!!!
Nala was being bad today! She was soo ignoring
me!! So far...Josh has already opened 3 of
his Christmas gifts:) But there's 4 more that
he has to wait til Christmas Eve to open!!!
Well...I'mma go get a tequila sunrise! So
laters..
Panhia
Current mood:  cold Current music: Powerless.....By: Nelly Furtado
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Hmm...I'm just chillin here at James'. We went to
the bowling alley earlier. My baby didn't do so
well so he was a bit upset. We got Matt to doggy
sit Nala while we were out for 3 hours. We also
went to buy a new phone today cause ours was gettin
too ghetto...I mean GHETTO!
I only worked for 2 hours today! The owner was too
anxious to get off and lock up cause she wanted to
go spend time with her kids...which was actually cool.
We brought Nala over to James so he could meet her!
Oh...I'm also the babysitter at the bowling alley!!!
I'm soo glad I don't have kids! Not ready for them
yet. He says maybe in a year but I'm more like 5 years!
hehehe. I didn't drink much at the bowling alley cause
the Tequila Sunrises there is just nasty!
Tomorrow...we're having Thanksgiving Dinner here. They're
preparing rite now and it smells soo darn good! So I can't
wait! This will be my 3rd year of Thanksgiving without my
family. But I'm getting to spend it with my new family which
is nice. So I'm actually looking forward to it.
I'm about to go get another pineapple bomber! So hope everyone
has a great and safe Thanksgiving!
Panhia
Current mood:  drunk Current music: Breathe.....By: Michelle Branch
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Aww...we've had Nala (our puppy) for 1 week now!
She's soo good!! Such a good girl. Listens soo
well and behaves soo well.
Bucs beat the Giants last nite! Woo woo...in your
face RUDY! hehehe. I'm kidding. It was a good game.
I guess takin Keyshawn was the best thing they did
for the team this year.
I fell asleep watching "Terminator 3". It was sorta
boring. We had a great dinner at home last night.
Ella & Brooke came over for a bit too. It's soo cute..
Nala & Ella are going to be such good friends:) But
Ella gets a lil crazy sometimes...she's soo cute though.
Kayshue came down for the weekend with her man Jay and
their friends Lazario & John. We went shoppin all day
on Saturday!! Dang they love to shop. I took them to
University Mall & International Plaza. Later on that
night, they went to Ybor City. I felt bad that I didn't
go with them. I went with my baby to BayWalk instead to
hang out with James, Shannon, Kordy, Kelly, Michelle,
Kelly, and dang..I forgot the other chick's name..oh
yeah, Crystal. It was alrite. We just chilled at Wet Willies.
I had a CALL-A-CAB...I barely remembered the ride home.
Then they left on Sunday and we just had a lazy Sunday.
Well...back to work!!! Updates later.
Current music: Have a Little Faith In Me.....By: Mandy Moore
Monday, November 24, 2003
1. PAY ATTENTION:
If a friend is having a tough tim, don't wait to ask
for help. Be their anchor by giving support. A true
friend knows what's needed without having to be told.
2. KEEP SECRETS SAFE:
When a friend confides in you, they expect you to keep
it to yourself. Unless they're in real danger, don't
violate that trust.
3. DON'T TALK BEHIND THEIR BACK:
Maturity and guts to tell a friend they've hurt you, and
sharing it with others can poison things. Being direct
strengthens your bond-it shows how much you care.
4. BE SYMPATHETIC:
They need what you need-an open ear and a word of advice.
If you try to understand your friend's feelings as if they
were yours, they'll show the same concern for you.
5. TELL THE TRUTH:
Honesty sets true friends apart from acquaintances-you can't
count on the truth from everyone. But being honest doesn't
mean being harsh. You can gently tell her what she needs to
know.
6. BE HAPPY FOR THEM:
Give your friends the accolades for their successes that
you'd want them to give you-put jealousy aside. We share
victories with friends because they help us get there.
7. KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF:
It'll crush them if you flirt with their sweeties even if
they're flirts. Show them you value the friendship more than
just some cheap thrill.
8. NEVER CALL THEM NAMES:
Even when you're angry, cutting a friend down is a real
betrayal. It destroys the safety net between you because
ugly words are spirit breakers and will start to erode trust.
9. HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR:
Inside jokes can be like a secret timeline of your friendship.
And since humor gets friends through the rough parts of life,
being silly together can bond you forever.
10.DREAM TOGETHER:
When friends get lost in each other's fantasies about life,
they become inseparable. Boosting them with encouragement
will also fill you with a sense of promise and joy!
Current mood: drained Current music: More To Life.....By: Stacie Orrico
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